There’s no easy way to tell your partner you want to go on a vacation without her and on top of that, with your male friends. Sure enough, I put it to the test and she wasn’t too happy when I broke it down to her. My girlfriend told me that going on vacation with my male friends can jeopardize our relationship. She said as long as I’m in a relationship with her, there shouldn’t be any “pleasure” vacations taken without her (whatever that means). She then proceeded to ask “why do I need to take a vacation without her”, and I replied “seriously, so I can do fun things that I know would get me in trouble if you were there”. Ok maybe that wasn’t the right answer and maybe she has a valid point why I shouldn’t be taking trips to Cancun on spring break with my boys especially after that answer. Maybe I should of thought of a good reason for doing so and I quickly realized I didn’t quite give her that comfort she was apparently looking for. But what happen to trusting each other no matter what? It’s situations like this that have me really believing that trust is just a fancy way of saying I only trust you when you’re around me. I feel as though my relationship is a particularly strong one, so the trust should be there. I wouldn’t be asking this if I didn’t already feel completely confident in the strength and trust between us.
I do understand that there are risks that can be avoidable and many women believe taking vacations with your male counterparts is one of them. One woman told me that she is a strong believer in this rule because it allows the chance of screwing up. She also told me that she trusts her boyfriend 100% but she just doesn’t trust his surroundings; meaning his friends, strangers, and the atmosphere he will be around. In a nutshell, she was trying to say if the trust is there in a relationship, there is no guarantee that it will continue to stay that way. So it is important to protect it. She understands that he is human, meaning he is far from perfect, leaving room for mistakes to happen. I guess it’s true what they say, you can never trust enough, nor can you take it for granted. You have to constantly build on it.
I guess my girlfriend’s goal is to assist by minimizing those risky behaviors in order to give me the best chances of not doing anything stupid that will affect the longevity of our relationship. So I began to think if she feels that way, should I feel the same? I really doubt I would have the same concerns if she took a vacation with her girlfriends. If anything, I would probably be excited if she took a vacation without me. To me it’s a vacation for me as well; peace of mind, peace and quiet. I believe we all need an occasional break from our bf/gf at least twice a year. I believe that time apart can strengthen a relationship, whether it needs it or not. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
Meanwhile I’m still deciding whether or not I should put her threat to the test. It would be sort of embarrassing to tell my friends I can’t go because my girlfriend said so. Besides, I understand how important my relationship is and I’m sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid to jeopardize it if I decide to go. I’ve made a decision! I think in this case I will go and hopefully her trust for me is strong enough for her not to worry. I’m sure she’ll be ok in the long run and this should only strengthen our relationship. If not, I should strongly consider this relationship….