It sounds so cliché when I hear there shouldn’t be any secrets kept between one another when in a relationship. But we all know some people just can’t handle the truth. When you are in a relationship, there are topics you may want to keep to yourself and there are topics you can share with your partner. Even though you might be scared to share certain information with your partner, discussing some of your secrets/wild or foolish past can actually work to your benefit. For one, your partner doesn’t have to worry about hearing it from someone else other then you and I was always told honesty is the foundation of integrity. It can also make you feel a lot better knowing that you can share some of your deep dark secrets now and not later when it may jeopardize your relationship. Talking about a touchy subject is not always the easiest thing to do, but in most cases it needs to be done to avoid any future turmoil in your relationship.
I want to discuss some of the topics I believe you can actually share with your partner that can possibly benefit your relationship.
1. Dating history. I believe it’s your partner’s right to know your dating history. It’s like CarFax when buying a car. Before buying a vehicle you want to know its history so you know what to expect or determine the “quality/worth” of the car, same idea with a person. I’m not saying to get detail with each person you been with, but questions like:
“Any crazy bf/gfs I need to know about?”
“Do you have kid(s)?”
“Are you married/divorced?”
“Is everything you own under your name”?,
doesn’t hurt. We all have our own standards and expectations in a lifelong partner, don’t make a mistake and be clueless of your partner’s dating history.
2. Your income. How many of us have lied just to make ourselves appear to be a little “richer” then what we actually are. I think we’ve all done it without realizing how it can backfire, especially if you’re in a committed relationship. Keep in mind when that happens, the truth will come to light and your partner will react. Seriously, who cares what you make, blame the poor economy, at least you have a job. If your partner likes you enough to be with you, I’m sure they will understand not everyone is making 100k or better.
3. Pet peeves. Tell your partner what gets you annoyed. Seriously don’t play the role of the easy going, nothing bothers me, type of person when you know that’s a big fat lie. Tell your partner how angry you get when she calls you every 2 minutes just to talk about every single detail that happened at her job. Nothing wrong with calling but let her know to keep it at a minimum if that’s not your cup of tea. Nonetheless, if you don’t share some of your pet peeves she will continue to be annoying and you will be very stress out in the relationship. To avoid this, tell your partner about your pet peeves in the beginning and not in the middle of the relationship.
To conclude, make your relationship stronger by being able to be confident enough to share some of your deep dark secrets. It will provide a nice strong foundation for the relationship and more importantly between the two. It will make other issues a lot easier to talk about. Once again, base your relationship upon integrity rather than lies and deception.