Guest Blog – Throwing Poop: Men & Monkeys are Overly Emotional

So traditionally, we’ve been socialized to believe that somewhere between the 1st and the 15th every month, instability becomes a normalcy in most women’s lives. The naked “David” magnet on their refrigerator makes them giggle, the Flintstones’ episode that reminds them of an ex makes them cry, chocolate makes them insanely greedy and any comments about it being “that time of the month” or being an “angry [insert ethnicity here] woman” usually incites a barrage of curse words and something being thrown. But lately, it’s been men who throw a tirade of hissy fits.

Example: I’m putting on my stockings to go to class at 7 am and my man “friend” calls, “Lately, I’ve been feeling unappreciated. I know you’ve done a lot for me in the past but what have you done lately? This school thing is making me believe you can’t concentrate on what you have. You don’t even call like you used to.” When I responded amused I was met by stream of curses. I stare at the receiver for a minute and start wondering when exactly did I become a lesbian.

Biologically speaking, the male gender is predisposed to competition; and according to Darwin their nature, make-up and behavior is to incite female-choice. When a female is fascinated by something/anything other than her mates’ or possible mates’ advances, mayhem ensues.

Let’s talk the animal kingdom for a minute. I’ve been fascinated by lions and monkeys recently. The lioness’ domestic role is not just the obvious: producing offspring. She is also the hunter, the provider for her mate and offspring. Most career-driven women and I would identify with lionesses. We have purposed to build a nest-egg for our future offspring and financial stability. Our focus on self-betterment sometimes leaves an emotional void in our mate(s).

Now, let’s talk monkeys. Monkeys have been known to throw poop when they are angry, excited, or seeking attention. Do you see the connection between the monkey and my “friend” yet?

In a man’s defense they are emotionally repressed by society. Any display of emotion from a man is identified as weak. However, insecurity is sometimes masked as a healthy display of emotion. Belittling your mate because you feel inadequate makes you no better than a monkey, honey.


About the Guest Author: Danielle

Danielle is one of the most passionate people I know. She’s, a 26 year-old returning college student, is pursing triple majors in English, Biology and Psychology. A veteran writer, slam poet and aspiring doctor, she’s looking forward to the mass publication of her short-story collaboration “Unbroken” and currently is working on an independent documentary. When I asked her to describe herself in as little words as possible, she came back with only one… “fire” and I couldn’t agree more.

21 Responses to Guest Blog – Throwing Poop: Men & Monkeys are Overly Emotional

  1. Feeling this- triple major!! Wow that’s wassup

  2. Thanks Tamara it’s a lot of work (seriously brain draining)…blessings

  3. This was very good, but men being overly emotional I don’t agree with, men and women are both emotional men just hide theirs to ” appear ” tough… Now your situation was dealing with a boy not a man, just because your a certain age physically doesn’t make you a man mentally, if he’s your ” male friend ” then he should understand what you have to do… Women do the exact same thing when they are marking their territory and when their ” friend arrives ” … Women do the same thing if their man is too busy or they feel their mate isn’t giving them enough time… It’s happened to me too many times…

  4. Touche Seidel!!!! I completely agree with the boy not a man comment…and a lot of times it’s definitely attachment issues and insecurities in both men and women that need to be sorted out before they get into a relationship…agreed!

  5. Exactly.. People bring too much baggage into relationships and much further than that, some men/women date the same kind of person and get the same results and when a good person comes along they pay for x’s mistakes…

  6. Danni, Excellent Piece of writing!!!! You followed up your theory with some funny supporting facts!!!! Now, the theory of the male and female dynamic in a relationship was pushed out with the fight for equality-Acknowledgment!!!! Chemistry (compatibility) and personality traits (aggressive verse passive) take center stage!!!! In your case, your dealing with someone that does not understand change!!!! He has grown accustom to a life style that has change with the addition of school!!!! we all know society expects Him to “man up and get over it” but if this was a female then society what say that the male should make time to accommodate what that woman feels!!!! I think that if you expressed to him that once you start school things will change drastically, you left the ball in his court whether to stay or leave, but if school was forced on him then he has every right to feel the way he feels!!!! Ultimately he has to make a choices, based on what his expectations will be, whether to low them and stay with you or maintain the ones he has and find someone else who is going to provide what you once provided!!!!

  7. Face,
    You’re saying that a man has a right to throw a tantrum if a woman doesn’t spoon feed him and coddle him into understanding that she needs to put education first?!!! That’s ridiculous in my opinion. I think as Seidel pointed out a mature person that doesn’t have security issues will not need to coddled but will learn to be flexible with someone pursing an education because by their partner bettering themselves they are ultimately bettering the relationship!
    Thank you love! you’re wisdom is always appreciated!

  8. To touch on your focal point, I do agree that “some” men are wearing their skinny jeans too tight. Regardless of gender though, no one likes to feel left behind. So, if you are a career driven individual dating a “content” 9-5 working individual than your minds and goals will eventually conflict. One mind is constantly working, achieving, growthing and seeking more knowledge while the other is seeking spousal attention and gratification. One is throwing “poop” while the other is attempting to clear the “poop”.

  9. Carl,
    Love the “skinny jeans too tight” comment lol!!! I agree when the focal points are not equal it will present a problem; however, depending up the nature of the relationship i think compromise can be worked out. However, the “friend” that i speak of barely held a part-time job and the focus should definitely be on upward mobility though it wasn’t. When something like this happens it stops being a “growing relationship” and starts being a weight and noose around the “climbing” partner’s neck!

  10. ok.. i cant say u arent right.. but i can say ur wrong.. lol.. guys act like emotional wrecks becuz thats wat they are.. there is a great need for gender defragmentation.. ..i mean.. not makin excuses.. becuz honestly.. although i feel bad for those that fall under this category .. i refuse to create a safe house for the ones who play the role of the victim.. ..they need to “man up ” …. but keep this in mind.. how many examples of REAL men do these losers have? the workin mother that raised him isnt enough.. it actually enables them to react like the only influence they have ..but i’ll save that for another blog

  11. Redd,
    I agreed with you until the last clause “it actually enables them to react like the only influence they have”, which implies that their mother’s are irrational, over emotional creatures. Some men I know have been raised by their mothers to be phenomenally assertive and respectful men. Yes the absence of a father or male role model will play a part in a child’s development but when a grown man uses this as a crutch to continue doing immature things it’s an excuse. “when I was a child I spake as a child; I understood as a child, I thought as a child but when I became a man I put away childish things” (1 Corinth 13:11) That scripture is for both men and women. Education is a healthy attempt to “put away childish things” and become an adult.

  12. I enjoyed the article….it was funny but very insightful :)

  13. Great read and the comparisons were on point..lazy ass lions! I also think my fellow brothers need 2 ManUp! ‘what have u done for me lately’ & ‘can’t concentrate on what you have’ are 2 BOLD ass statements! they are even out of character for a woman much less a maleFRIEND -childish!

  14. Ludny,
    Thank you for your kindess…true story lol…those that know me know i have men stories for dayz lol

  15. Lion,

    HA LOVE IT!!!! My defender! Truly you prove, there are men who defy the stereotypes… thank you~

  16. Definitely enjoy the article and im a guy!…lol, by the way good site guys…

  17. Thank you JP!!!! That means a lot…glad it was entertaining lol

  18. ain’t she kind of old to be in college? she should stop focusing on men and focus on getting a career!

  19. Liz,
    First lady response and a criticism that had nothing to do with the article, ha, interesting. Yes, “she” is old LOL born 1984 and check the article again…”she” is most definitely dedicated to pursuing a career and the beauty of being old is being able to balance three majors, writing, filming and men :) Side note: Education shouldn’t have an age limit… thanks for reading

  20. I must say that the article was written very well.

    However, the article written was a projection of one mans actions onto the male population. Not all men are like that, and I didn’t see the word “some” or even the word “most”. What I did see is women being compared to lioness’ and a man being compared to monkeys.

    “When a female is fascinated by something/anything other than her mates’ or possible mates’ advances, mayhem ensues.” How one-sided is that? Sounds like an indirect generalization. What’s sad is that some people will take this “entertainment” for reality…but I guess I’ emotional right now since I don’t agree…lol

    What I can say is that this may be true for your life, and you have every right to feel that way about that male, or even males that you have seen/dated that remind you of MONKEYS, but this doesn’t apply to us all. Obviously that kind of behavior worked for that man, or something happened to make him feel that way. But this is not the point really- Let’s make this comment constructive…

    How about next time we address the African American identity crisis of men and women? How about we analyze how misogyny has affected a great deal of our sisters and made them think that they don’t need a man? How about we speak on many women being just as affected by the characterization of our men, and the glorification of all of the negative qualities being publicized; inherently shaping the minds of our young people? Emotional is not a negative word. Perhaps if we had people that were more emotional, there would be more light shed on the things that really bother people.

    The game has definitely changed, and more doors are being opened up for women, but they need not forget the position that they should play. Meaning, they should always be understanding of their mates, expressive, and respectful…I wouldn’t be surprised if that man is cussing you out for airing out his laundry like that. Just because women are receiving things that they were always entitled to does not constitute “male bashing” behavior. This applies to men too. We must not let society teach us (men and women) to insult, and abandon each other.

    I am a MAN (that cooks)…and I hope to find a compatible WOMAN, but I will not beat up on the one’s that haven’t met my satisfaction. P-E-A-C-E!!! (Excuse my typos)

  21. Bryan,
    WELL SAID…though your passion definitely blinded your interpretation of the article so let’s analyze your comments rationally and sentence by sentence. ” Not all men are like that, and I didn’t see the word “some” or even the word “most”. What I did see is women being compared to lioness’ and a man being compared to monkeys.” Ok let’s begin. 1st. I didn’t not make a distinction between some and all men because the article clearly addressed a very specific and select group of men. I addressed those men who as i said in my last line “belittle their mate because they feel inadequate”. If the men reading did not fit into this category then there was no need for offense. Next you quote me, ““When a female is fascinated by something/anything other than her mates’ or possible mates’ advances, mayhem ensues.” How one-sided is that? Sounds like an indirect generalization. What’s sad is that some people will take this “entertainment” for reality…but I guess I’ emotional right now since I don’t agree…lol”

    Ok read the paragraph before and you’ll realize i’m discussing the biological theory of “Female- Sexual Choice and Male-Competition” according to the theory the males in a species do any and everything to incite female choice and the progression of their lineage. This was clearly discussing theory, it was not a generalization on my part at all. But if it were this is an article in which a woman gets to express her take on SOME men (since I must be specific) , you’re more than welcome to disagree.
    Next, “What I can say is that this may be true for your life, and you have every right to feel that way about that male, or even males that you have seen/dated that remind you of MONKEYS, but this doesn’t apply to us all. Obviously that kind of behavior worked for that man, or something happened to make him feel that way. But this is not the point really- Let’s make this comment constructive…” A personal attack followed by a claim to be constructive LOVELY!!!! It is true for my life or I wouldn’t have written it. Any male that belittles a woman because he’s insecure will remind me of the monkey throwing poop scenario. I used a personal example and perhaps you are correct. Maybe that kind of behavior worked for that man in the past and hopefully this will help men and women identify it and correct it.
    Onward march! “How about next time we address the African American identity crisis of men and women? How about we analyze how misogyny has affected a great deal of our sisters and made them think that they don’t need a man? How about we speak on many women being just as affected by the characterization of our men, and the glorification of all of the negative qualities being publicized; inherently shaping the minds of our young people? Emotional is not a negative word. Perhaps if we had people that were more emotional, there would be more light shed on the things that really bother people.”
    Who’s addressing the African American identity crisis…? No where in the article did I specify race, nor did I say that the “friend” in my anecdote was black. You raise lovely points for another blog at another time but that wasn’t the purpose of this one. I will not speak on sisters who think they don’t need a man because my words are true to life and I personally have no connection with that. I by no means want to give the impression that I do not welcome a man’s presence in my life or any of the reader’s lives. I will say I don’t “need” a man. I need air. I need water. I need love. I need God. A man is wonderful companion but not a necessity. I think emotional displays are healthy when they are constructive and positive. Temper tantrums are for babies and monkeys…which category a man who displays such emotions decides to choose is up to him.
    Lastly, “The game has definitely changed, and more doors are being opened up for women, but they need not forget the position that they should play. Meaning, they should always be understanding of their mates, expressive, and respectful…I wouldn’t be surprised if that man is cussing you out for airing out his laundry like that. Just because women are receiving things that they were always entitled to does not constitute “male bashing” behavior. This applies to men too. We must not let society teach us (men and women) to insult, and abandon each other.”
    Forgive me but the last sentences were a little “I’M A MAN HEAR ME ROAR!!!” ish…so were going to skip over the first sentence and pretend it didn’t happen, mainly because I cannot be boxed into any socially branded “position”. Women should be respectful, and understanding if and only if it is initiated and/or reciprocated. If “the man” is cussing me out I’ll never know. Our last conversation was the day he cussed me for choosing to pursue education. If there wasn’t any “dirty laundry” or temper tantrums then my article would have no validity. What’s insulting the fact that women are learning to express their disgust with verbal abuse publicly or that men are finally realizing that being a MALE doesn’t make them a MAN and a desirable boyfriend or husband. Insulting? Maybe…but so are the actions of men who do things like the man i mentioned in the article. As for “abandoning” an unhealthy, unproductive, mentally draining relationship…I couldn’t get my heels on fast enough to run…LOL THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!