Fellas, we’ve all been hurt, we’ve all experience some type of an emotional pain, and I’ve realized one of the most difficult things to do in life is to Move On from your ex. Breaking up is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief. We’ve all suffered those sleepless nights because of the constant thoughts about our ex just wouldn’t quit. It’s so ironic because many of us believe we are always prepared for that dreaded day especially when we already seen it from a distance. We get so complacent when we are in a relationship that we sometimes think we are immortal when the break up actually happens. I’m here to say that we men are far more sensitive when it comes to breaks up and I can definitely attest. We are so clueless on what to do that we start doing things we didn’t know we were capable of doing. We reach uncharted territory and everything is disrupted. Everything from your routine and responsibilities, your home, your relationships with extended family and friends, and even your identity.
We start losing control of our emotions and feelings. I know we are all humans and losing control is part of life, but not when it becomes harmful to yourself and others. But why does this happen? Research suggests many things; from the comfort of having someone always there, selfishness, feeling like you didn’t get a chance to make things right, your own beliefs of not being treated right, possessiveness, being scared to find someone similar to their ex, and so fort and so fort. We as humans have so much to learn about the human body and mind. Again recovering from a breakup is difficult. However, it’s important to know (and to keep reminding yourself) that you can and will move on. But healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. Here are some things you can do while dealing with this difficult time.
Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused, and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the relationship was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.
Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. We are not superman; it takes time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.
Don’t go through this alone. Reach out to others for support. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group or even seek counseling. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, and overall health.
Keep in mind; your ex may be hurting as well. Nobody wants to go through a breakup. It’s ok to let your ex know the difficulties you are having with the breakup. Hopefully they understand and have compassion/sympathy/empathy for you as you go through the process and vice versa.
To conclude, remember that it’s ok to be hurt, it’s ok to let it out, and it’s definitely ok to talk about it. Breakups can cause depression and a great period of sadness. For all those going through a tough breakup, try to think positive because negative thoughts only causes hurt and harm to your heart. Fill your heart with love and try to empty out the hate. Love yourself, become a better person, and know your worth. Life’s a learning lesson, continue to live and learn from your past mistakes.