Moving On…

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Fellas, we’ve all been hurt, we’ve all experience some type of an emotional pain, and I’ve realized one of the most difficult things to do in life is to Move On from your ex. Breaking up is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief. We’ve all suffered those sleepless nights because of the constant thoughts about our ex just wouldn’t quit. It’s so ironic because many of us believe we are always prepared for that dreaded day especially when we already seen it from a distance. We get so complacent when we are in a relationship that we sometimes think we are immortal when the break up actually happens. I’m here to say that we men are far more sensitive when it comes to breaks up and I can definitely attest. We are so clueless on what to do that we start doing things we didn’t know we were capable of doing. We reach uncharted territory and everything is disrupted. Everything from your routine and responsibilities, your home, your relationships with extended family and friends, and even your identity.

We start losing control of our emotions and feelings. I know we are all humans and losing control is part of life, but not when it becomes harmful to yourself and others. But why does this happen? Research suggests many things; from the comfort of having someone always there, selfishness, feeling like you didn’t get a chance to make things right, your own beliefs of not being treated right, possessiveness, being scared to find someone similar to their ex, and so fort and so fort. We as humans have so much to learn about the human body and mind. Again recovering from a breakup is difficult. However, it’s important to know (and to keep reminding yourself) that you can and will move on. But healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. Here are some things you can do while dealing with this difficult time.

Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused, and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the relationship was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.

Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. We are not superman; it takes time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.

Don’t go through this alone. Reach out to others for support. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group or even seek counseling. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, and overall health.

Keep in mind; your ex may be hurting as well. Nobody wants to go through a breakup. It’s ok to let your ex know the difficulties you are having with the breakup. Hopefully they understand and have compassion/sympathy/empathy for you as you go through the process and vice versa.

To conclude, remember that it’s ok to be hurt, it’s ok to let it out, and it’s definitely ok to talk about it. Breakups can cause depression and a great period of sadness. For all those going through a tough breakup, try to think positive because negative thoughts only causes  hurt and harm to your heart. Fill your heart with love and try to empty out the hate. Love yourself, become a better person, and know your worth. Life’s a learning lesson, continue to live and learn from your past mistakes.

 

Marckens P.

13 Responses to Moving On…

  1. Well said. Moving on can be very painful especially when you love the individual.

    • Revenge Your Ex
      Each day hundreds of men and women seek revenge on their ex-mates for a variety of reasons, usually because they got dumped or where cheated on. Revenge comes in many ways. It typically starts by using social media to vent, and then escalates from there. Now sites like “Get Revenge On Your Ex” for a fee will help you get pay back or revenge.
      So what is the best way to get revenge besides slashing her tires, posting nude photos of her and so on.
      The best way according to the web site Right Choices 101 is to live your
      life well. This is true no matter who you are seeking revenge on. Coworkers, past bosses, bad friends or ex-lovers. Put your energy into succeeding and enjoying your life, not wasting your time, energy and resources on revenge that can end up costing you much more. Plus, when you seek revenge, you send them a massage that you have not gotten over the relationship. It’s much better to show you are indifferent and don’t care.

      According to Kenneth Agee of A Foreign Affair, a service that specializes helping men find young beautiful foreign women, “The best revenge is to date or marry a women 10 years younger than your ex. This will piss her off to no end. No woman ever wants to be replaced with a younger, more attractive woman. Just like a man never likes to get replaced by a guy who is wealthier or more successful.

      I will never forget one of my first clients we took to Saint Petersburg,
      Russia.” says Agee, “The client told me that two days on our tour was better than two years of therapy. Having hundreds of attractive women fighting over you gets your ex out of your mind pretty quick.
      I personally went through break up when my ex ran off with another man. But a short time later, I met a new lady who was ten times better. I ran into that man who stole my ex and I gave him a big thanks. In fact, I could not thank him enough. He was stuck with an older nagging women, while I was now with a young, beautiful, caring women. Plus, my ex had gained about 100 pounds. I don’t look at that fellow as any kind of enemy but as the person who saved me from my ex and years of suffering.” This is the best a revenge when you win without lowering yourself. Other sites like “Get Over Her Now” give practical advice and tips for getting over a past relationship.
      Top Tips from Get Over Her Now:
      Start making platonic relationships with as many women as possible, old, young, skinny, fat, cute or ugly. This greatly helps you get back in the game of socializing with the opposite sex. And it opens up lots
      opportunities to meet their cute attractive friends in a more relaxed
      environment. This also helps you build your game and confidence.
      Improve yourself, start working out, get up early every day and exercise. Buy new clothes. Dressing better makes you feel better and improves your confidence.
      Focus on work and getting a promotion or raise. Don’t let a break up effect your work negatively. Put that extra effort into work and it will pay off with a better position and more money. This will also build your confidence and help attract better quality women.
      Any time you are depressed, improving yourself helps greatly. When you feel depressed, don’t sit and watch TV and then sleep-in late. Get out and do something that will make you feel like you’ve accomplished something. Take a class, go hiking, fix something you’ve been putting off.

      Don’t start drinking. Drinking will always have a negative impact on your life. Don’t drink while depressed or when you are trying to get over some one. After all, drinking is for celebrating. So if you are not celebrating something, don’t drink. A quality women is not going to be attracted to someone who drinks a lot or has a drinking problem.
      Don’t sleep in; sleeping late increases depression. Get up as early as you can and go for a walk, take a hike, or go to the Gym. Research shows getting up early and exercising can eliminate depression. You will have no game be depressed.

      Don’t binge eat. If you start gaining weight, you will feel less self-worth
      and lose your confidence. Confidence is a quality that women are extremely
      attracted to.

      Conclusion, the best revenge is when you improve your life so well that she realizes she made a big mistake. And satisfaction comes when you meet someone so much better, you are glad the ex is gone. After all, if you are seeking revenge, how great could she really have been in the first place!

  2. So true that there is inevitable grief, and it can be difficult to function for a while after a breakup. It’s completely normal to feel strong negative emotion and loss, and feeling these feelings actually makes them resolve more quickly than if you try to keep your mind off of them or push them away. When we’re willing to feel something fully, we can grieve and move forward in our lives more quickly and fully.

    One thing that people often miss is that we can decide how to interpret the breakup. Some ways of interpreting things lead to feeling hopeless (e.g. “There must be something wrong with me. I’ll never find love again.”) and sort of falling into a pit that’s difficult to navigate and climb out of. We can spend a really long time in that pit.

    Other ways of interpreting the breakup – which you can choose – create more room to grow and learn from the loss. Painful though it may still be, when you take a perspective that doesn’t blame yourself or beat yourself up, while staying open to learning what lessons might be present for you, you can really grow and heal from the experience of loss.

    If you’re struggling through a breakup, you might like this program (free) with support for a difficult breakup: yourwiseheart.com/welcome.

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom,
    Lindsay

  3. Breaking up hurts both partners. Break ups can make one do many silly things that ordinarily u wouldn’t want to do. The first time I experienced it, I took to drinking heavily. I thought I wouldn’t overcome it but I did after some time.

  4. A break up is probably the worst pain someone will have to endure especially if you’ve been with this one person for years. Your right when a relationship comes to an end it feels like your whole life came to an end. It feels like eveything you worked so hard for was taken from you. But as you stated in time those wounds will heal and you will be able to move on. Even though at the time of the break up it seems impossible.

    http://sashajones002.blogspot.com/

  5. I think it’s also important to recognize that it’s ok if you keep some part of her with you in your heart. After all she was a part of your life and may have been for quite some time. I think a lot of guys beat themselves up for not being able to let go completely, however I think it’s perfectly normal that a degree of sadness and memory may be there for a long time.

    Obviously if this is so bad that it cripples you for future relationships it is a big problem. However if you have moved on to a point where you are ready for a new relationship then holding that little piece is ok.

  6. I really appreciate the wisdom in this piece. I recently published an article about how technology degrades the relationship and makes them simply a result of whim and impulsivity. When we can put the value back into the relationship, we can hopefully improve the quality and the experience.

    I think you might enjoy reading this as a great follow up. Thanks again for a wonderful post!
    Ari
    http://www.asytner.com/technology-sex-and-dating/

  7. I seriously need to take some of this into consideration. My love life is a mess lol

  8. In my opinion, the best way to get over an ex and move on is to “throw yourself against the swords”; that is, don’t avoid the painful thoughts and feelings that you’re having like most would do. Think about it, think about it a lot. Cry, scream, do what you need to do. Just face it head on, until it doesn’t hurt anymore. It can’t hurt forever, and the sooner you’ve “gotten all the hurt out”, the better.

  9. Mhmm, so true. Its as simple as moving on hurts. I’ve just started blogging my story, its deep, intimate and personal. Maybe you’ll relate to it one day. Give it a look if you may :) http://twoyearson.blog.com

  10. I think your tips on getting over a breakup are very helpful and informative, however I feel like your introduction could be improved. I noticed some small grammatical and spelling errors that can be improved with a quick proofread. I also feel like the first paragraph dragged on and repeated some points a couple times. I think the post would be further enhanced if the beginning was shortened and made to be more scannable to the reader. It would also be beneficial to add a few more tips, or maybe even some details of your personal experience to relate to the advice and improve the authenticity. If these changes were made, I think it would convey your messages more clearly and effectively.

    • Jane,
      I laughed out loud after reading your comment! I thinks it is hilarious that you are knocking the author for grammatical errors and critiquing his article. Your comment is the very reason most guys will not only feel relieved, but excited that they are no longer in a relationship after reading the article. Yep, it is all coming back to me now……….. she was a judgmental ass who wanted to dictate everything. Thank you for this. I needed it!

  11. Nice, but I don’t think that people will search for a solution on the internet when they break up. http://theobsessionformulareviews.com/