Insecure Women

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A woman that is insecure is a woman that is not confident, uncertain and anxious. I believe that insecurity stems from lack of trust. The bible says “Don’t be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds.” If you trust God, you won’t be anxious, instead you’d pray and trust in God that everything will turn out ok. And when you trust God you will feel confident and secure that things are fine. This same concept can be applied to insecurity in relationships.

Insecurity begets anxiety, trust begets peace, and the antidote to insecurity is trust. Like I stated, insecurity in relationships stems from lack of trust. If you are feeling insecure, I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to feel insecure because you probably have a valid reason to feel the way you do. And it probably has nothing to do with flaws in your character. Allow me to explain with a short story:

Mike tells his girlfriend Jessica, that Pheobe is just a friend. Months later, Jessica discovers that Mike has been romantically engaged with Pheobe. Mike tells Jessica that Lisa is just a friend. Months later, Jessica finds out that Lisa and Mike have been mutually engaged in sexual conversations. Lastly, Mike tells Jessica that he barely knows Laura. Months later, Jessica discovers the Laura has been doing personal favors for Mike and having private telephone conversations. When Mike introduces Vicky to Jessica as just a friend Jessica has her doubts. When Jessica questions Mike about his friend Vicky, Mike calls Jessica insecure. Jessica no longer trust Mike because of the past deception. Jessica feels insecure. It is not a flaw on Jessica’s character, but it reflects the health of her relationship with Mike. The person at fault is not the person feeling insecure, but the person provoking those feelings.

Feelings, like insecurity, are normal. Listen to yourself and trust yourself with your feelings. Feeling insecure may be a warning sign that the relationship you are in is not a healthy one. Many times men manipulate women into thinking that feeling insecure is a weakness or a flaw in their character. The truth is that it’s ok to feel insecure. Empower yourself by trusting your body and feelings. Feeling insecure may be a reflection of a flaw or weakness in the way you are being treated in your relationship, so don’t put yourself down for it. Instead, be proactive about it.

Work on regaining trust. Pray. And let peace overcome your doubts. Having trust in your relationship is the only cure for insecurity. Make sure the person you are in a relationship with is a person you can trust and believe in so that you can have a healthy and peaceful relationship.

Be blessed, spread love,

Kim

7 Responses to Insecure Women

  1. When I was afraid of being alone, I continued to accept unacceptable behavior from the men I dated. I wanted desperately to be loved and adored. I wanted to feel special. But my problem stemmed from the fact that I didn’t think I was special or lovable. I kept looking for someone else to prove to me that I had value and that I was special. It wasn’t until I learned to love and value myself that my love life changed and I stopped attracting men who would not respect, love or value me.

  2. Pamela, I greatly appreciate you sharing this value piece of information with us. It’s a great life lesson and truth. Best wishes to you.

  3. Wonderful insight. Excellent life lessons

  4. Cheers
    . Love is fantastic feeling and the best to rule your life by.
    Early this year my long lasting relation came to an end, it had ended long before but i was blind to see it.
    Then out of nowere and months later i reacquainted an old friend, me and this girl never really bonded but now i discovered a wonderfull,beautifull,funny, educated, fighter,determinded woman. I felt drawned to her but only cause i needed a new friend but over time i couldn´t help but to fall for her. We have so much in comun, from music to world views, even the way we think, its a match and i couldn´t believe that after such a litle while i was meeting someone this perfect i couldn´t be this lucky!! and im not. She, thanks to past relationships, is afraid to commit, afraid to guive her heart away, like me and everyone else she is terrified to get hurt again and in result she has been alone for years and is acostumed to be like that. I adore her,she is perfect in every detail and even her flaws fit her wonderfully and she holds me in the highest regard and im glad she doesn´t percieve me as all the other men but to my own sorrow she doesn´t feel the same way i do. I respect that! we can not force people to love us but i can´t shake the feeling that her fear of pain is holding her back, clouding her judgement, stoping her from embracing happiness and me..i feel like the universe has guiven me a chance and then took it back! as some kind of sick joke!
    I dont wanna get hurt or hurt anyone, thats what i believe in and thats how i keep my heart and my conscience pure but i know not what to do or what to think!
    Why?

  5. Joe,

    It’s great that you feel that strongly about a person. It’s wonderful that you can see all the good in that person. It’s awesome that you love her and think she’s perfect, but it’s selfish of you to want something from her that she is not ready give you. Like the cliche saying says, if it’s real love you will let her free. Why is it that you want her to yourself? Why can’t you love her without wanting anything in return from her? Real love is giving your love to someone without expecting anything in return. Real love is selfless. It’s easy to love those who love us back, but the real virtue of love is seen in those who love others without expecting to receive anything in return. If you truly have genuine love for this girl you should be able to appreciate her presence in your life period, as a girlfriend or not. Love is love and it doesn’t have conditions, and it doesn’t go away just because she is not ready to commit to a certain type of relationship with you. Think about it.

    • Kim thank you for the reply,
      Please dont get me wrong we set out as friends and it was along the way that i developed feelings for her and i was amazed because i had came out of a break up months earlier and when i came forward with how i felt i didn´t expect anything back and she was extremely honest to me and i accepted and still do. We continue to see eachother and i love to talk to her and be her friend. All i want is her happines and im glad to be a part of it even if it is only as friend but im afraid she is stuck on that loop of being scared of being loved and love someone back and told her about it. She needs to take a chance with whoever she wants being me or whoever she desires and she deserves it. Despite all thats happened i can totally hang out with her unlike most cases i had in the past were i got rejected (we all had those lol) and im glad i got a new friend but you understand that a part of me cant help to wonder, what if?

  6. thoughts?..

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