Whatever you are doing. Stop. Put the phone down. Stop asking your friends for advice. Get off social media. Cool? Cool.
Glad we got the basics out of the way. Phew.
To get your ex back, you have to do the opposite of what you really want to do.
The secret sauce to getting your ex back is a attitude with a combination of standoffish and pleasant.
Let’s start off with being pleasant. Being pleasant means to giving a sense of happy satisfaction or enjoyment. No one ever gets upset at you for being pleasant. In fact, we tend by nature to want to be around people that are pleasant. Make sense?
Now standoffish. Which means to be distant and or subtly cold. You may think that being standoffish is contradicting to being pleasant and it is, however, when they are paired together? Mannnn.
You become… the person your ex can’t live without.
Why? Let’s break this down…
What happens when we are attracted to someone? Actually, wait…lets go back even further. Something clicks in our mind when we realize we are attracted to someone, right? I’m not talking about just the physical, but also the mental. The reality is that when we become curious about someone, that is actually the very first step in attraction.
Who is she/he? Where are they from? Are they in a relationship?
These are all questions we subconsciously ask ourselves when we see someone and initially feel attracted to them. If you know everything about someone, that isn’t interesting. That isn’t motivating. That isn’t attractive.
Merriam-Webster defines curiosity as, having a desire to learn or know more about something or someone.
Read that line again.
Got it? You see…you need to understand that the more you are in your ex’s face the more she/he will get turned off. You can’t attract someone by texting or calling 24/7. That’s unattractive and they are left with nothing to be curious about, because they know everything. However, if you take longer than usual to reply to a text/call/email or simply don’t reply and that’s a sharp difference in your attitude, they will begin to wonder why. They will begin to get…curious.
If you pair this standoffish attitude with being pleasant then it becomes very powerful. You may engage in a conversation here or there, but you do so minimally. You don’t drag conversations. You become unpredictable, yet friendly. You say what’s necessary and do so smiling, but you don’t talk about personal topics. You talk about the weather. You smile. You say hello as you walk by. You treat them professionally.
You talk to them like a co worker.
This attitude is the foundation of getting your ex back, because remember, they broke up with you and you want them back. To show courage is attractive. Remember that this attitude is only temporary and once they start engaging with you again and showing interest, you have to reciprocate it.
If this sort of advice resonates with you, I’ve put together a series of step by step phases to get your ex back that I believe is really incredible. If not, you can go back to Facebook and see what Joey is doing (some dude you haven’t seen in 5 years).