Are women really the more outgoing one in relationships than men? To answer that question, I would definitely have to say yes they are. It’s not that I don’t always want to go out with you; it’s just in my DNA not too. In order to support my hypothesis, I had to do some research to back it up. Now Of course my research stems from my own personal experiences, but I’m starting to believe that most male species are just less outgoing compared to their female counterparts. For instance, lets focus on the male lion, research shows that the male lion is the less active one compared to the female lion. Male lions can sleep up to 20 hours per day, while the lionesses go out and hunt for food, care for their young, and roam around doing whatever lions do.
So I kind of/sort of did a quick study on the credibility on my hypothesis. I was able to interview 10 different guys (anonymous) who are currently in relationships and have been for at least 6 months. I gave each of them a questionnaire regarding their opinions of going out. My findings weren’t surprising at all. To sum it up in a nutshell, my research suggests that women are a lot more outgoing and spontaneous compared to men.
I want to share and discuss some of the reasons we (anonymous participants and I) believe women are more outgoing. Now some of you may agree or even disagree, but I hope I am able to provide a little insight
Reason 1. Most women are very excited once they become part of a committed relationship (not saying men are not excited). Their main goal is to spend as much time as they can and that usually includes a lot of going out. Whether its dinner, movies, shows, traveling, or parties; again their priority is to be with you sharing all of THEIR “exciting moments”
Reason 2. Women are usually hard to entertain. Unlike us men, it doesn’t usually take much to get us excited. We can kick back, grab a beer and watch television (preferably Sportscenter for me) 24/7 and be cool with that. Women on the other hand want to see mountains and fireworks even in November. So it’s pretty much our duty as men to keep them excited before they get “bored”.
Reason 3. We like to think women are more extroverted and men are more introverted. With that being said, women who tend to be more social, need to be out looking for the crowd and doing things. Men are more to themselves and because of that, we don’t really need to be out there with the crowd.
At the end of the day, I’m happy women are the way they are, it balances us men out. I have women to thank for most of the exciting things I’ve done throughout my life. I know more than half of the time you probably don’t want to do what they want to do, but if you balance it out I’m sure you will enjoy it and make the best of it. It’s not all that bad…
Definitely a debatable topic…
Marckens P.
My observation and intuition: in relationships – women are as dominant as men. Not more, not less.
The article confirms my Relationship Advice practice’s observation: women can be very active in relationships.
My opinion however is that we all do want the same and dislike the same; once the lady is in a secure situation she blooms. I see no reason to expect any diferences.
See my link for the ‘Do’ and the ‘Don’t', which was based on a 60 persons (about equally devided between the genders) ‘singles group’ which I coached: http://www.online-counseling-dr.com/happiness_in_marriage.html
Dr. Joe
Thank you Dr. for your comments!
In your study, did you interview women?
@Emma, nope I did not interview women. I wanted to get the opinions from men.
@lovely, thank you for your comment!
I am an outgoing women and I dont have anyone to thank, especially not a man, for the fun things that i do because I do them myself. And I guess that proves your point even more, that women are more outgoing. If I want excitement or something to do like explore the world, believe I’m gonna do it, with a man or not. it must be nice to have someone to thank for all the fun things you have done though. Good times are better when shared with someone special….But I think its a catch 22 with women. If your an independent going women who does things by herself, then she is considered lonely, closed off or whatever. If she waits for a man to do things, she is clingy and needy. damned if you do, damned it you dont. Ill stick with the idea that I like to do whatever makes me happy, weather it be by myself or not. I like doing fun things in a relationship, but I have actually done most of my fun/exciting things by myself.
have a friend, who is married, and her husband appointed her the “Queen” of their social life. She is brillant at planning activities and social events. He loves them and provides resources. It works. But I also know men who have lots of friends and are very social. I believe it comes down to personality of the individual, male or female. The most important thing is to be interested in each other. n what each partner likes to do. Once in a relationship it is much more fun to plan out your activities together. Planning is half the fun.
Eve
http://www.luvwriters.com
@Eve, thank you for your comment!
Generally, I would agree with this notion that Men are less outgoing than Women. But I do believe that the majority of the Men that are less outgoing are probably restricted by factors such as financial situation and other responsibilities that they face.
In my experience, however, most of the women that were in a relationship with, are far less outgoing than I am. However, that may be because of the fact that I am an extremely outgoing individual.
Marckens, Many of my memorable experiences have been with men. And I truly appreciate men who take the lead to entertain me, but special events are a treat, not an expectation. (not to mention expensive)
I try to keep some balance by doing special home-cooked meals, movies at home, find out his special beer, favorite team and try watch a game together once in a while. (Not always, because I know you guys need guy-time away from women too) I like to indulge a man, it’s fun.
In my experience, many men have been ingrained by dominant women–like you suggest–who expect to be entertained but rarely hold up their part of the relationship.
I can’t speak for all men but men who have shared their stories with me, tell me it’s usually the independent, extroverted, entitled women who expect men to serve her needs and consume most of the emotional space in a relationship. Fortunately, the entitled women, who need to be entertained and do very little to serve a man too, tend to drive men away fast…thank goodness.