Guest Blog: The Death Of The Submissive Woman and Subsequent Consequences


Let’s face it ladies: we have all been lied to, and the consequences have had devastating effects upon us and the family. We have been groomed to become educated which has resulted in us graduating 2-3 times more than our men. We have learned to become so independent that we don’t know how to allow anyone in our matrix, including the mate we so desperately crave. We have learned to conceal our problems, fearing that showing them will make us look weak. We have learned to run the household and contend with our man (which is against the biblical order of things) and yet we wonder why things are so out of order in our lives and in our world?

Well I know that the opinion that I am preparing to share is not a popular one. In fact, I have been called outdated and old school, which I indeed admit to being because I believe that the old school mentality in regards to relationships is a model that works. I believe that if we quit trying to modernize every single attribute of life we will be more successful. I believe that is why, against the statistics against black women today, In regards to getting married, I have been able to forge my own path and connect with a great mate.

I staunchly follow only two rules: Know my role & Let my husband be and feel in charge. As a woman, despite the high levels of education that you achieve, you are no man…. And you never will be. To become successful in a world in which double standards run rampant, a woman must learn to humble herself. Otherwise you will continue to see that you are unable to do and achieve the same results as your male counterparts, and possibly end up frustrated and alone. It’s not fair and it is certainly not what we believed would come from empowering ourselves, but it is the truth.

Secondly, I have learned that although I have the highest influence in my house, it is essential for my husband’s ego that he feels in charge of our home. Emasculating your husband will do you much more harm than good so I have learned to let some things go, although I may very well be right. I have learned to speak to him with care instead of being harsh. I have learned to rule with a gentle, feminine approach. Now I understand that many women will refuse my advice, however I would pose that if you continue to find yourself lonely because you prefer to dictate, dominate and contend with possible suitors perhaps you may consider trying a different approach. After all it was this same way that made your grandmother and your mother successful, and if you come from a long string of independent single women… it could be the same flaw that they also refused to learn. All I can share is being ladylike worked for me. Good luck in love and life.

jeenaAbout the Guest Author: Jeena
Jeena Effoe is an bold, truth seeking visionary located in Columbus, Ohio. Born and raised. Educated at the University of Cincinnati she has gained a wealth of life experience over the years that she creatively shares with the world by utilizing many social mediums (Youtube, Facebook and her very own blog, ) Helping other women of color overcome many barriers that threaten to prevent their progress into happy, healthy, and loving futures is her passion. Jeena currently resides in the Columbus area with her husband and works for a large national bank. She enjoys traveling, working out and quality time with loved ones. We at seriously maybe were delighted to have Jeena as a guest blogger and is confident that her writing will open up many doors for her in the future.

12 Responses to Guest Blog: The Death Of The Submissive Woman and Subsequent Consequences

  1. Jeena, you’re one wise woman…but you already knew that!

    You can make him want to be a better man and he can do the same for you…better woman, that is.

    Here something I wrote for men about THEIR power.

    • Thank you for the kind words, and I will also check out your read! :-)

  2. I completely agree with you on this. You can’t have two head of the households and things run smooth. There is always a pilot and co-pilot. However, in my opinion is that men want to be men and run things when they feel like it- not all the time. For example during dating; men want to give a woman their phone number, expect the get in contact, men don’t want to actually plan dates, men don’t want to take charge. The funny thing that is if they did fake charge and accept responsible then women would accept it. But, how can a woman let the man be in charge and he doesn’t have his stuff taken care of? How can a woman trust a guy who spends money the second he gets it, who goes out all the time for no regard for his relationship, who doesn’t handle his business.

    I fully believe a man should be in charge of the household but men have to show and prove that they are capable of it. If they did women wouldn’t be so independent.

    • Thank you for your response, and indeed I know the type that you talk about.. the ones that are in fake control, but have no grounds to really call the shots. It has been my experience that men fall in one or the other category… they are either the charismatic that everyone enjoys yet lack the proper foundation.. or the man with all the accolades that lacks social finesse. In this article Im more less referencing them because those are the type of men I have attracted or been attracted too. Talk is cheap, and I have never been impressed by the talker, although they are usually very fun to be about. From my experience, I have learned to sork with a man that has a solid foundation and cultivate the social/emotion part of him.

  3. Great stuff writer

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  5. Very interesting article Jenna! Thank you. I would word it a bit differently though because it is not about given up independence and down siding our power. It is about giving up competition with the man of our life and answering his needs and ours at the same time. The last 2 or 3 generations of women have been raised without understanding the importance of receiving. Men are genuine givers if we let them be and accept to receive from them. Receiving also means letting go.
    In the work place we have to be strong and more yang because as you say Jenna the business world has a male biais unfair to the female gender. In our home and in our private life we must learn to let go and praise the man of our life when he takes charge. He needs to take charge because he shows his love by providing and protecting. When it comes to our romantic relationship the quicker we put the sword down the happier we can be.

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