Did you SERIOUSLY just tell him that?…

jealousLately, I’ve been reading research articles on relationships, mainly on ways to improve it. When one is in a romantic relationship, a main focus should be to figure out ways how to improve the relationship. That precisely, was what I was looking for in the articles that I read. I came across an interesting article about honesty. Now, I’m a big believer in honesty and I believe it is a focal point in healthy relationships. The author of the article I read explained that there are certain things a woman should be able to tell her partner. However, as I read the article, I found myself disagreeing with the author on the things a woman should tell her partner.  This triggered me to write my own post on things a woman SHOULD NOT tell her boyfriend if she plans on being with him for the long run.

The first thing I came up with is mentioning your past! It’s probably the easiest and it is a responsibility of both parties to avoid doing. We live in a society where women are viewed as being jealous creatures. This may be true, but believe it or not, men have more than an ounce of jealousy in their system. Do not compare us with your ex, SERIOUSLY DO NOT compare us with your ex or even mention him. We don’t want to hear all the special things he did for you or the special memories you guys shared.  It’s my turn to do something special with you and create better memories. We as men want to be different and we don’t want to be anything like your ex. Comparing us to your ex or mentioning your ex on a regular basis will have us thinking that you are not over him and that can cause tremendous conflicts within the relationship.

 

The second thing is saying something about his mother in a derogatory fashion. There is nothing like a relationship with a man and his mother and I’m definitely a momma’s boy. Any negative statement you have to say about my mother, please refrain from sharing with me. This is very important to remember. Most men would probably do anything for their mothers and if you happen not to see eye to eye with his mother, my advice is to try your hardest to be diplomatic.  Communicate with your partner about your concerns with his mother in private, but do not show your frustrations in front of his mother.

 

The third one involves his looks. Please do not tell your boyfriend that you find him to be unattractive. That will totally lower his confidence and to make matters worse, he will probably go find someone who thinks he is attractive. Just lie to him and make him feel as though he is the sexiest man alive! One of your goals as a girlfriend is to boost his confidence, not lower it…I’ve witness plenty of women tell their man that she doesn’t find him to be physically attractive. We all know the saying, “it’s not how you look on the outside, but it’s all about what’s on the inside”. But that doesn’t mean you should actually share that with him. He probably thinks he’s the best thing you ever had. Now, if he has a huge ego then it’s ok to turn it down a notch, but don’t make it a habit by crushing his thoughts, it can be detrimental to his self-esteem.

I could continue the list by mentioning things like avoid talking about: his finances or lack of, calling him lazy, immature or a big kid, or even criticizing his love making skills. These are all things a woman should refrain from sharing with her male partner.  Be conscious on what you mention to your man. We all have a soft side and our feathers can easily be ruffled. If you don’t want him saying inappropriate things to you, be the example and refrain from mentioning anything I listed in this post. Until then, keep the positivity in you relationships and focus on empowering each other not bringing down each other. Don’t forget when you’re in a relationship you become a team, it’s your team against the world!

 

Marckens P.

4 Responses to Did you SERIOUSLY just tell him that?…

  1. i dont think anyone would willing tell their bf hes ugly and mean it. secondly i think its important for women to feel comfortable discussing any dissatisfaction they experience in their sexual relationship with their man. I dont care how great you think you are if i am not pleased you will need to know, otherwise sex wont even be an option for you. who wants to have sex just to make someone else feel better besides christopher reeves?

  2. True! It may be tempting to just play around sometimes and say hurtful things without actually intending to be hurtful. But as much as it sounds fun, we should always be mindful of the things we blurt out to our partners.

  3. Hey Marckens, definitely agree with you on that! It just feels terrible if my spouse starts comparing me badly to her ex, talk bad about my mom or dad or even start telling me negative things. If she does any of such stuff, I doubt the relationship will go very far or last very long.

    I think a better approach would be to mix negative feedback with constructive ones, and even when necessary, make it constructive.

  4. Thanks guys for the comments!