Befriend your Ex through social media…Yes/No?

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Social media is evolving and its obvious that it now has a strong impact on our romantic relationships. Whether it’s in a positive or negative way, the effects of social media has definitively changed the way we experience our romantic relationships. Social media has facilitated the intertwining of our past relationships with our current ones. You are probably wondering what I mean by that. I’m referring to the easy accessibility social media gives us to our EXs. With that being said, being friends with your EX is probably not the smartest thing to do especially if you are in a relationship. But what if you were connected with your EX through social media (ex. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc) especially after moving on into a new relationship, is that wrong too? I personally don’t believe there is anything wrong with staying connected; it all depends on the intentions behind it. This is a topic a lot of us can relate to. I’m here to hopefully shed some light on the situation at hand.

There are a lot of factors that can determine whether or not you should continue being connected with your EX. It’s important to understand if your EX is over you or not. Why? Because when you are connected through social media, your Ex has access to you and your activities of daily living. Ideally, you don’t want your Ex constantly checking up on you and knowing your every move if you are active on social media. The presence of your Ex on your social media will make you and your new partner very uncomfortable; it can have a negative effect on your new relationship. Another important factor is the break-up itself. If the break up with your Ex was so bad to the point where you don’t want to see that person again, then it can justify the reason to unfriend your EX. On the contrary, if the break up was a mutual agreement, should you be enemies with your EX? What happened to the magic word TRUST? I was good friends with my EX before, so I figure the least I can do is be cordial now. I place being connected with my EX through social media in the cordial category.

When discussing this issue with your partner, just remember the factors that will play a huge role in this topic. Again, figuring out the intentions behind the friendship is vital. This can be hard to determine at times, but in most cases you can determine that through a simple conversation with your partner. Try asking questions like, why did you guys break up? I believe the reasons of the break up can reveal whether or not the motives are “acceptable” or not. Another good question can be, are you over your EX? Now the answer to that question will provide a lot of vital information to your benefit. Another factor could be gender. I hate to bring gender to the forefront, but I really have to. As a man, I believe most men don’t care whether or not they are still connected with their EXs. I believe most women do not trust their partners even if there was no negative intention to stay connected with their EX. Women are likely to distrust their man’s EXs.

As I previously stated, I personally don’t believe anything is wrong with being connected with your EX through social media. A quote I found through my own research, “Don’t let your virtual friendships get in the way of your real-life relationships”. The internet is so enticing. The world is open to you and you can be whoever you want on sites like Facebook. Nonetheless, I also believe in making your current partner very secure in the relationship and that includes establishing trust. With that being said, communication is key and this is a topic that both parties should discuss.

What are your thoughts?

Marckens P.

4 Responses to Befriend your Ex through social media…Yes/No?

  1. I personally believe that both parties should discuss their break up situations only IF they are asked. However, I feel as if there should not be any type of communication between ex’s UNLESS the break up was mutual and a friendship was kept or there is a child involved. I don’t trust social medias much because men are going to be men and if they like something they are going to like and comment. I guess it takes a man with respect and a woman who is less insecure to eventually trust more. I personally wouldn’t befriend an EX because I know I wouldn’t like my “other” to do the same not because of insecurities, because I am Secure with myself 100%, but because the EX might be the one to disrespect the initial “befriending”. Women will never trust a man or a woman completely no matter what the circumstance is ESPECIALLY if both were once betrayed. A woman will always have a thought in their minds.

  2. This is quite a delicate situation, there’s a good reason the relation didn’t work out; maybe a bad reason it didn’t work out; for this reason, limiting communication as minimal as possible is essential to maintain a healthy relationship.

  3. For me it depends on the reason why you broke up and how you’re current partner would react on this. If befriending him/her on social media will just cause your misunderstandings and doubts in the relationship, then it’s a no. On my personal experience, my ex and I are still friends on Facebook. My hidden agenda? So that he is updated on my status, to make him feel that I am very happy now that I found someone who will never leave me just like what he does. Bwahaha!

  4. One of the main reasons people visit the Midlife Inspiration website is because they are facing challenges within their primary relationships during midlife and they are not sure how to deal with them. Relationship instability is natural at the midlife stage and without this knowledge or the motivation to see it through; this is a peak period for separation and divorce.  However, this is also a time when a relationship can be transformed into something more loving, more profound, more supportive and richer than ever before.