2 Types of Men

2 types of menWomen, when dating, we must be aware that there are 2 different types of men. In order to know in what direction your dating relationship is headed, one must find out in what kind of relationship you are getting into. The type of relationship you are getting into is determined by what kind of man you are dating. Choosing the right type of man to date is important  in order get what you want from the relationship. Watch for these traits in each type of guy:

The ‘Serious’ Boyfriend

Saying:  After getting to know you, this type of guy makes it known that you are the woman he wants to marry. Men are very different from women. When men find what they are looking for, they have no desire to keep looking for another potential. Once he realizes that he has found his  future wife in you, he will go forward without hesitation. Usually when talking about marriage, this type of guy is positive, confident and will put it in the woman’s hands to decide when she is ready.

Doing: This type of guy engages in meaningful activities with his girl like visiting her family, spending time with her, accompanies her to church, spends holidays with her and tries to integrate himself into her family. He is usually around his girl just because.

History: This type of guy may be associated with 1 or 2 girlfriends that he has brought around friends and family. Regarding girlfriends, he is meticulous and selective about who he brings around and associates himself with. TRY being the lucky girl he introduces to his circle…

The ‘Not-so serious’ boyfriend/Womanizer.

This is the kind of guy that will waste your time if you are looking to get married and have kids. This is a realistic problem as we all know that women have a biological clock. After 35 years of age, the risk of having an unhealthy baby increases, and the risk becomes greater every year after that.

Saying: The relationships this type of guy usually engages in have “Blurred Lines.” There is no clear understanding what you mean to him and what kind of future he has with you. He is just in it for the moment and for a good time. If you talk about marriage while in a relationship with him, it will most likely end in an argument. He will feel pressured and uncomfortable discussing marriage. He may also refer to his wife in a third person, making it known that he isn’t sure it  will be YOU.

Doing: As I stated, this guy is in it for a good time, therefore the only time you will see him is during a planned activity. This guy has no genuine interest in just being by your side.  This type of guy may keep you happy momentarily because  he knows how to please women, for the short time he wants to keep them, through cute outings, activities, and sex. During serious times of need, this guy is usually not emotionally engaged.

History: This type of guy can be associated with a long list of several different women including: Real Ex, side chick, fling, “friend with benefits” and one night stand, which he brings around his friends and family all the same .There is no real distinction between girls. He usually refers to his girls as his “friends,” to keep them around. Just wait your turn, you WILL be next…

Conclusion/Advice:

Depending on what you want from a relationship, chose your type of guy. If you are looking for marriage and children, maybe your priority interest in a man shouldn’t be fancy restaurants and theme parks; you should probably be looking for a guy who also wants to get married and shares your same values. But if you are looking for a quick romance and a good time, maybe the womanizer type is suitable for you. Be aware of what you are getting into with a guy.  Understand the difference between the two types of guys and judge a guy by his actions more than his words.

Be blessed, spread love,

Kim

10 Responses to 2 Types of Men

  1. Yeah…not exactly. My guy is somewhere in between. He’s sweet and sensitive and our relationship is also based on insult-based humor. Neither of us want children. I’m 32 and he’s 30. He’s there for me in times of need and loves being around me and my family. I hang around his friends and we’re spending the holidays with both families. We both are not ready to rush into marriage right yet, but he doesn’t run when I talk about it. We’ll probably wind up married someday, but it’s not on the forefront of either one of our minds at the moment. We just enjoy living each other and the relationship as is. Since we don’t plan to have kids, marriage is not really on either of our minds right now. This blog post is a little black and white Kim. It takes all sorts to make a world.

  2. Response to Jen ….
    Sounds more your trying to defend the fact that your man might be the “not so serious” type. If you both are in love, and obviously want the same things in life, not to mention you are already living together what is the hesitation of marriage? Also, you mentioned the fact that when you bring up marriage to him he doesn’t run. Obviously if marriage isn’t n your mind you wouldn’t even bring up the topic. I think your living in the moment because at this point he might feel no need to make the commitment to marry you when you are already playing house.

    • Response to Glory-
      He is plenty the serious type. I am saying it’s not all black and white. We will probably get married eventually…we have talked about it and he doesn’t run the other way or seem adverse to it. We both just don’t see a reason to right now. If we felt like we wanted kids, then this might be more immediate. Seeing as we’re both IRONMAN triathletes with full time jobs and advanced degrees, this is not of the utmost priority. If we’re already living together and in a committed relationship, there are really no benefits to marriage for us other than tax related breaks. He’s not a player….in fact, we are both complete geeks anyhow. He would never cheat on me. He loves spending time with me and my family and showing me off to his friends….my comment to this article is that it’s very black and white and doesn’t seem to fit everyone. He knows we’re marriage material, and when the time comes, we will get married. Just not now.

  3. When commitment and/or communication r avoided… RUN! No matter how good the sex or his words, GO! Sex just isn’t worth finding out the hard way you mean nothing but that to them

  4. Jen, I definitely see your point and it’s a good one. I appreciate your comment and sharing your personal story with us. I have one question for you, if he proposed today would you say yes or would you want to think about it a little longer? I think that many times men have a big say on what the progress of the relationship would be. If he was the type to want marriage, im sure you wouldn’t oppose. And if you were the type to want marriage and children as a main goal of a relationship, im sure being with a guy who doesn’t share the same goal, would hinder you. What you two have is something not addressed in this post, maybe I should write a new one, as your guy seems to fall under the seriously boyfriend type who encompasses all the traits mentioned except for wanting marriage. Actually, our partner Rey has written a post addressing the question if marriage is not the goal does that make the relationship insignificant. I encourage you to read it and tell me what you think.

    • Hi Kim,

      If he asked me to marry him, the answer would definitely be yes. I know it will happen eventually, but we’re happy the way things are now. We both have the same goals and both don’t want kids. For some people, that is not their goal in life. I have read his post and I don’t really think that makes a relationship insignificant. My friends Carolyn and Joel lived together for 20 years before they actually got married. They were happy and practically married, but he had to go on her insurance, so they went over to city hall and applied for a marriage license. Then of course the company she works for went out of business…..but they are still happy and have now been married for 2 years. They just went on a cruise to celebrate their 2nd anniversary. As long as two people are committed to each other, than there is no reason to be married if you’re not planning on having kids. Having said that….if he proposed to me tomorrow, I would say hell yes. I know he’s going to eventually. We have talked about it and he wants to do it, but neither of us feel like it’s necessary right now. Also, it’s expensive to get married.

      • Jen, you say you are happy, but are you selling yourself short from something that you really want? Do you want marriage with him? You said, “hell yea.” So what are you waiting for? Are you settling for whatever happens or I should say whatever he decides will happen? I think that women who want marriage should get it. And get it by starting a relationship with the type of man who wants it too. I’m not fond of this “waiting on him” for years and years and years and putting off what you really want from a relationship and your life, just to be with a guy.

  5. Great Article Kim!! It is so true!! And u can usually tell the difference who the serious one, with the less than serious!! xoxo

  6. I was reading this and halfway through the article I realized my fiance used to be kind of both things. He IS a Serious boyfriend now. Dedicated, and he really loves me. I feel that in everything that he does. The way we met though was his being The Non-Serious Boyfriend. We met a party and he was a complete arse with three women flirting with him. Two weeks after that my friends and I were having lunch at the mall and he well, spilled his coffee all over my dress. It was a disaster! After that we started talking on the phone.. And before I knew it, I have already said yes to his proposal. He’s a gem..

  7. E David, thanks for sharing your experience with us. What a great success story!