The word love can be very ambiguous. I believe many times the word love is even misused. Rey’s article, 10 Things That Love Isn’t, gave us 10 good examples about what can be mistaken for love and what love isn’t. I have a real problem with the vast false interpretations of love. So, I came up with 10 things I rather have instead of false love.
These are 10 things that love is:
Respect- Love and respect go hand in hand. without respect there is no love. With respect there is no physical, verbal or emotional abuse. Before someone claims they loveyou, make sure they respect you as an individual, for who you are, where you come from and what you do. With respect there is no discrimination, name calling or down grading. Respect is the ultimate factor in a having healthy relationship.
Loyalty-This is a characteristic that everyone should desire from someone in a loving relationship. A loyal partner is committed to the relationship and is determined to make it last. Think of your best friend, loyalty is probably the hallmark of that relationship, and it should also be an essential ingredient to a romantic relationship.
Honesty- Billy Joel’s song, Honesty, released in 1979 clearly depicts the essence of Honesty in a relationship:
“If you search for tenderness
it isn’t hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.
Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.”
Integrity- This is synonymous to having standards and good morals. An integral person will keep all the above mentioned characteristics and other values like love. I don’t think its possible to actually love someone with having integrity.
Faithfulness- This is self explanatory. Unless you are in an open relationship, most people demonstrate love by being committed to only one person in a relationship. Trust is associated with faithfulness. The question of a lifetime still remains, ‘Can you actually love someone without being faithful to them?’ I still don’t know the answer to that, enlighten me if you will.
Kindness-I believe that love produces kindness. You can demonstrate love by the way you treat someone, and kindness is definitively and act of love.
Care-Many people say the term love and care are interchangeable. If you love someone it means you care for them. Love is care.
Affection-What better way to demonstrate love than with affection? Someone people don’t know any other way to love than to show affection. The ultimate act of affection is sex, also known as making love; Need I say more?
Admiration- There must be something special about your significant other that made you love them in the first place, its called admiration. Love upholds admiration and admiration turns into love…
Faith- I saved the best for last. One of my closest friends, an intellectual, thinker and poet once told me, “Love is…like faith.” Those words have been pressed in my mind indelibly ever since. We can go on forever trying to figure out love. We may never fully understand how someone loves us, the only thing we can do is believe its there. When you love someone, you have faith in your love for them and in their love for you and you make it happen! You cant see love, you cant feel love, but you know its there, and that’s faith!
Be blessed & spread love,
Kim
Thanks for the right to-do list!
Can I add one item?
How to create the right loving lifestyle is not a ‘gift’ nor a ‘magic’ neither a result of hpes and prayers but a handful of practical steps that can be nurtured and practiced.
As a Life coach I would add the ‘passion’ or ‘romantic acts’ to your list. I think ‘Affection’ is not enough, once we are dealing with couples; without physical strong attraction and attachment their love would suffer. This element is also a subject of practice and improvement (see http://www.online-counseling-dr.com/Principles_of_Counseling.html).
Cheers,
Dr. Joe
Thanks for your input Dr Joe
Love is faith! I couldn’t agree more…
Nice article. I love your point of views.
Love is the best thing at life ,
i hope someday to fall in love :(
Thnks for Sharing this , very amazing Post
lOVE THE ARTICLE, Love can be very hard to describe and throughout my years i am able to understand that love comes in many forms and even different dimensions. great post and nice blogsite guys. I love the different types of topics and the different ways you guys approach them. All the way from CANADA!
Kay Luss, I’m glad you agree that faith is love. Its nice to receive confirmation.
Dr Love, thank you!
Katrina, your welcome. Something I believe is that we don’t “fall in love” rather, we GROW in love. I hope that you can plant that seed of love and have it grow keeping in mind that “You reap what you sow.”
Edward, thanks for reading all the way from Canada, the love and participation are greatly appreciated!!!
Much love to all!
I definitely believe in honesty in a relationship, even if it hurts. Some people get scared because of the reaction they may get, but you need to be honest in order to build that deeper level of love.
Nice summary of 10 points regarding love Kim. These hold for anyone in our lives that we love or that loves us. And i’d like to add one important thing. These also hold true for the love of ourselves. If we don’t show ourselves these values and love ourselves unconditionally, then we are not able to allow others to truly love us.
I fell very calm and cool after reading this blog. As like I am weak up early in the morning and drink a glass of water, and wash my face. Thanking you for the marvelous job. My gratitude with you.
Sourav, it’s my pleasure.
Michael & Payne, thank you.
Love is def care!!
Nice post. I read through many articles you have here and most of them are very interesting. But this particular post is informative and well cordinated. Thanks for sharing. Among all you listed, I prefer honesty. I think honesty covers all other characteristics. The issue of faithfulness is subject to faithfulness. You know why? There was this couple who contacted me advice on their relationship problems. According to them, their leading problem is sex. The lady doesn’t want to have sex until they are married while the guy has waited for 2 years and was demanding for the sex. She refused giving in sex claiming that it will disturb her psychology. The man was advised to cheat on her but he said he couldn’t because that betraying her trust (unfaithful). According to him, the lady must agree that he goes outside to start having sex before he can feel free to do it. When they brought the matter to me, I asked when they planned getting married and they said in 3 years time! I asked them to break up, give in or he cheat! She complained that the options were hard to choose from. After hours of talking, the lady accepted that the guy can keep a lady he can be having sex with instead of the other 2 options!
Now, I realized that the guy wanted to be honest with the lady. The lady didn’t find it difficult coping because there were things she listed that the guy must keep doing for her not to feel it as a cheat but as an agreement.
I can also add one more important factor which is love is expression. I believe that love will give you that freedom to express your self fully. You find out that when you are in love and you both have gone to a very mature level, expression becomes a free will. You easily express how you feel, your fears, you weakness, your strengths, your fantasies, your passion etc. visit: http://www.trueloverelationship-advice.com
Kingsley, I love your story. Thank you
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