The word love can be very ambiguous. I believe many times the word love is even misused. Rey’s article, 10 Things That Love Isn’t, gave us 10 good examples about what can be mistaken for love and what love isn’t. I have a real problem with the vast false interpretations of love. So, I came up with 10 things I rather have instead of false love.
These are 10 things that love is:
Respect- Love and respect go hand in hand. without respect there is no love. With respect there is no physical, verbal or emotional abuse. Before someone claims they loveyou, make sure they respect you as an individual, for who you are, where you come from and what you do. With respect there is no discrimination, name calling or down grading. Respect is the ultimate factor in a having healthy relationship.
Loyalty-This is a characteristic that everyone should desire from someone in a loving relationship. A loyal partner is committed to the relationship and is determined to make it last. Think of your best friend, loyalty is probably the hallmark of that relationship, and it should also be an essential ingredient to a romantic relationship.
Honesty- Billy Joel’s song, Honesty, released in 1979 clearly depicts the essence of Honesty in a relationship:
“If you search for tenderness
it isn’t hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.
Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.”
Integrity- This is synonymous to having standards and good morals. An integral person will keep all the above mentioned characteristics and other values like love. I don’t think its possible to actually love someone with having integrity.
Faithfulness- This is self explanatory. Unless you are in an open relationship, most people demonstrate love by being committed to only one person in a relationship. Trust is associated with faithfulness. The question of a lifetime still remains, ‘Can you actually love someone without being faithful to them?’ I still don’t know the answer to that, enlighten me if you will.
Kindness-I believe that love produces kindness. You can demonstrate love by the way you treat someone, and kindness is definitively and act of love.
Care-Many people say the term love and care are interchangeable. If you love someone it means you care for them. Love is care.
Affection-What better way to demonstrate love than with affection? Someone people don’t know any other way to love than to show affection. The ultimate act of affection is sex, also known as making love; Need I say more?
Admiration- There must be something special about your significant other that made you love them in the first place, its called admiration. Love upholds admiration and admiration turns into love…
Faith- I saved the best for last. One of my closest friends, an intellectual, thinker and poet once told me, “Love is…like faith.” Those words have been pressed in my mind indelibly ever since. We can go on forever trying to figure out love. We may never fully understand how someone loves us, the only thing we can do is believe its there. When you love someone, you have faith in your love for them and in their love for you and you make it happen! You cant see love, you cant feel love, but you know its there, and that’s faith!
Be blessed & spread love,